Cardinal Signs
by natashas-barton
Summary: Collection of Two Shots / Small moments in Teddy and Henry's relationship, taking place both before and after that fateful night he came into the ER.
1. Bring You Home Pt 1

**Hello readers! This is my first time venturing into the Grey's Anatomy section of fanfiction. I am primarily a Marvel fanfiction writer, specifically focusing on the ship Clintasha because they are just beautiful. However in the past six months or so I have rapidly been binging Grey's Anatomy. I love the show so much and have absolutely fallen in love with the character Teddy Altman, especially with her relationship with Henry. Naturally, with this ship, it's been like six seasons and I'm still feeling all the feels. So I have decided to jot down some of my feels and share them with y'all.**

 **This fic will be mostly a collection of two shots. For each two shot, one part of it will be a moment that takes place prior to Henry's untimely death. The other will be a moment which parallels or references this prior moment but showing how the memories of said moment affect Teddy now that Henry is gone.** ** _Some_** **chapters / stories will only be before, and some vice versa and only about a moment after he's gone. Nonetheless there will be feels all around.**

 **To those who don't know my prior writing, I can be a little dark, depressing, etc. in my themes. If that is not your cup of tea, just read the Part 1 chapters. I'm not exactly going to hold back with the feels on Part 2 chapters - so just fair warning. Sometimes I get hate for how sad my writing is.**

 **Hope you enjoy this first part of this first two shot. I am open to ANY IDEAS or REQUESTS if anyone has them. I feel like Teddy, and Teddy and Henry together specifically, are underrepresented in the fandom sometimes. I hope you all enjoy, please let me know your thoughts!**

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 _Cardinal:_

 _1\. [adjective]_. of prime importance, principal

 _2\. [noun]_ a new world song bird, a red crested finch

 _Across many cultures, sightings of a cardinal (bird) are universally representative of a loved one who has passed. A visit from a cardinal, is said to be, a visitor from heaven. The cardinal is a spiritual messenger - the hinge of a door opening between heaven and earth. Deceased loved ones are said to take the form of a cardinal to visit you in times you need them, when you miss them most - or in times of celebration. Or, simply as a reminder that they are still with you, and always will be. When spotting a cardinal, a bird that is strikingly hard to ignore, think of what or who is on your mind when the bird arrived. Cardinal sightings are said to bring closure, peace, and comfort. ⠀_

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Bring You Home [ part 1 ]

The sound of the EKG and the various other machines that monitored his vitals all that he had expected to hear over the next couple hours. Or maybe the sounds of hustling residents and busy nurses right outside his room was expected. But the last thing he expected to hear was the sound of his wife waking him up from a sleep he wasn't exactly in that deeply to begin with.

"Hey," Teddy said softly, almost inaudibly as if afraid to wake him and yet she also knew she had to, and so her gentle voice was accompanied by a light touch of her hand on his shoulder.

At her soft touch, his green eyes opened with exhaustion and yet a small smile despite the discomfort he was in.

"Always like waking up to a pleasant surprise." He said in between trying to adjust his eyes to the lights being turned on in the room.

"Yeah, getting sick or the nurses and residents poking and prodding you?" She asked with a slight laugh, as with her hand still on his shoulder her thumb moved gently as a gesture of ease and comfort.

"Oh the residents, God they are the worst" Henry said jokingly, mimicking how Teddy would always complain about the residents at home.

"They're not all that bad with patients. They just can get lazy on the scut work that I actually need them for," She said justifying her frustration, but Henry only continued through a smile,

"Ah well, put them to work charting everything that's wrong with me and they'll be up all night."

His voice was jovial, and Teddy could only shake her head with a small smile at his sarcasm as she placed a soft kiss to his forehead.

"We'll get you better," she said, always the one of the two to remind him of her firm hope.

"Have you eaten?" She asked, as she grabbed his chart at the end of the bed and began to read through it.

"Haven't been able to keep anything down." He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Yeah the antibiotics for your post op infection are probably causing that." She said objectively as her eyes fell firmly on the notes of how much he was being given of the medication, before she forced herself to close his charts and go over to focus on him.

"Antibiotics can be hard on your body, but, you need to eat. So-" Teddy said as she leaned down and picked up a paper bag which she had brought in.

"I ran down to the cafeteria to get you some of this, it's the kind you like right, the potato one?" She asked, as she pulled up a tray for him to eat on and placed the cup of soup which she brought.

He smiled brightly through his eyes up at her, gratitude for the simple things she did for him evident. He knew she didn't have much time for this, seeing as she was still in her scrubs and even her scrub cap was still on, and yet in between her crazy schedule she managed to care for him even if it didn't have to be her job.

"Yeah it's my favorite, they only have it on Mondays." He added, knowing the cafeteria well due to the fact that he spent quite a large amount of time in the hospital.

"See, I did remember that! Hopefully that sounds good, because you gotta eat something," she said, lovingly and yet sternly protective - as always. But Henry could never complain about that. She tried to be professional and subtle in her genuine concern for him, but it always managed to infiltrate into the forefront of everything she did.

"Yes It sounds amazing, don't worry." He said glancing up at her as he immediately began to eat his dinner.

Relieved he was eating, but remembering the kiss she gave him on his forehead, she walked back over to him and placed a hand under his hospital gown and on his back, and then on his forehead. Her touches were gentle, but her expression as she registered what she felt hardened, as she couldn't hide her frustration as she said,

"Damnit. Your fever's back."

The anger in her voice was clear as she almost violently grabbed his charts to see if the fever was even mentioned. Mumbling a disapproving 'Damn Interns' under her breath, Henry almost scoffed a soft laugh as he said,

"Keep up that stress and you're going to make yourself sick. Which is no fun, trust me, I know from experience."

Flipping the charts closed as she looked over at him, she couldn't help but smile as his words alleviated the tension she felt. Setting the charts down to focus actually on her husband instead of dwelling on the numbers and notes, she noticed the soup she brought him was only half eaten, and so asked with a raise of a brow as she sat on the edge of his bed.

"Am I going to have to spoon feed, or are you going to finish that on your own?"

"Ooh, spoon feeding is very old married couple-ish. I'm not in a nursing home just yet." He teased as he took the spoon and proceeded to eat.

Teddy shook her head with a delighted smile, and said casually despite the context of the situation, "Well keep up not eating and you will be."

"At least I'll be the hottest guy there. You'll have to worry about all the cougars staring me down." He joked, and Teddy only held back a laugh at his terribly placed jokes. And yet she loved them anyways.

She slipped her bird covered scrub cap off her head, and tucked it into the pockets of her scrubs before moving to casually sit criss crossed on the bed with him. But as she tried to relax and settle down to enjoy the short break in her work with him, she couldn't help but notice the small tremor in his hand as he ate.

"You're cold?" She asked very softly, as she placed a thin hand over his and felt the goosebumps on his wrist.

"Just a lil, Hospital is drafty" he said, downplaying as always.

But her worrisome eyes which rested on his pale form weren't convinced, as she slipped off the side of the bed, grabbing a thermometer to actually see how feverish he was. Running the thermometer sensor over his head, she bit back a frown at the thermometer reading over 103 degrees.

"That bad huh?" He asked with an exhale, although always optimistic, his voice was laced with exhaustion. And that made Teddy's heart only yearn in more worry for him.

Giving him a sad smile as she set down the thermometer, she nodded and said softly, "Finish up, then I'll call a nurse to give you something to bring that down."

"Alright, but you should go get changed, get something to eat too. Because don't tell me you didn't just get out of surgery, and a long one at that by how tired you are." He said, though hardly as demanding in his protective nature as Teddy was towards him, he sweetly looked after her too.

"Don't worry about me Henry, I'm fin-" she began, but he shook his head and cut her off, as lovingly as possible.

"Well, just because I'm the one with all the issues doesn't mean I don't have a right to look after you too." He said with the smallest of smiles as he let his hand that was covered in IVs and bore his medical alert band, take her's with a supportive rub of his thumb over her palm.

"You are so stubborn." She said, pretending to be annoyed, but she couldn't help but smile and hold his hand tighter.

"I know, I'm just awful. Worst patient ever." He said back to her.

"You really are." She said, but she couldn't mean it. Instead she grasped his hand, which she could still feel the tremble from his chills, harder. Stepping closer to his bed she put a hand on his shoulder, and rubber it softly, as she said with a lowered gaze.

"Wish I could just take you home tonight."

"You should go home." He said honestly, his voice not even lacing with his usual jovial nature. But his soft bright green eyes wide in worry.

"I'm not going anywhere, and besides isn't Yang going to be-" but he was suddenly interrupted by a series of violent and hoarse coughs, which lasted a good thirty second. The exertion of the constant violent coughs made him grasp his chest in pain, and Teddy, while knowing such coughing fits were natural given his infection, rubbed his back and tried her best to subdue the look of pain she had in her face for him. She hated seeing him sick, weak, and in pain. He was strong and she knew it, but as he forcefully coughed for minutes on end, the sound of just how sick he was made her stomach twist. She continued to softly rub his back, even patting it to try and help him get up whatever he was trying to hack up.

It was as the fit finally came to an end, that Henry fell back against the hospital bed and closed his eyes tight to hide the fact that they were watering from the pain in his chest. Teddy slid her hand off his back, but not without one more soft rub and saying in a hushed and calm voice, "Shhh it's okay."

She moved quickly but calmly to recline his bed back to bring him a little ease in not having to sit up straight. His face relaxed just a little in gratitude, but he was still too out of breath to say anything. As usual when these sort of coughing spills happened, he struggled to inhale rapidly to bring on air.

The wheezing and heaving of her husband was enough to make the surgeon resort to matters that weren't exactly necessary - and could cost the unnecessary hospital money - but she knew it would bring him just slight ease and that was enough to make her decision a no brainer.

She turned connected an oxygen tank to a mask, and very slowly so not to startle him as he tried to recover, raised the mask with incoming oxygen to his head. Not even wanting to bother to put the oxygen mask band around his head, her thin hand simply held it up to him, so he could more readily breathe.

"It's okay, just breathe." She said as he finally opened his eyes and locked onto her's.

Wanting to be in the slightest bit independent, he raised a hand to try and hold the mask for himself. But she softly shook her head, and said lightly,

"I got it, just breathe."

He couldn't argue with her, physically or emotionally, and so simply laid back calmly and closed his eyes to focus on breathing. As his chest began to rise a little less rapidly, and his breaths became longer and more steady, Teddy could finally exhale, and say in a voice hardly above a whisper, tender with care and love,

"You're okay. You're okay."

While the oxygen was a relief to the pain of not being able to breathe temporarily, her words were equally as relieving to his mind, in drawing himself away from how miserable being sick felt, and holding onto her sweet words which gave him strength.

With one hand she continued to hold up the mask, and the other she let her hand gently touch the top of his forehead. As she watched him slowly regain his breathing, she ran her hand through his brown hair, as she continued to say in a voice she could barely even hear over the whine of the oxygen tank.

"It's all alright. You're okay now, just breathe."

He nodded, able to respond now with the clarity of oxygen. And yet as her thin hand continued to stroke his brown hair, he succumbed to the comforting feeling of her touch, and relaxedly leaned back into the pillow of the bed peacefully.

It had been several hours later now, and Teddy had finally left Henry to finish her Post Ops, go get something to eat, and go home. Though Teddy had left strict orders for the nurse to help get his fever down, despite the medicine Henry continued to hold the thin hospital blankets close to him, desperately trying to stay warm as he continued to have prolonged chills. Altman had instructed Cristina to keep an eye on him for her, and although normally such a request would bring a more annoyed response from the resident, she was happy to do it for her teacher now. She had gone in several times to take his temperature, and though she hardly felt sympathetic to the usual sickly symptoms patients exhibited, she did feel sorry for Henry now. He was exhausted and trying to sleep, but unable to due to constant coughing but mostly from being cold.

"Do you want a little water?" Cristina asked him in a hushed voice as she took his temperature once again.

Shaking his head, as he leaned back hard against the hospital bed in discomfort, Cristina exhaled slowly as she pulled her stethoscope out and listened to his lungs. It wasn't necessary nor something Altman required of her, but she wanted to do it - cover all her bases.

"I'm going to write you a prescription for something to help with your congestion. I know your having a pretty bad reaction to the antibiotics, so I'll prescribe you something a little more milder. It'll help with your coughing, and hopefully you can get some sleep." Cristina spoke bluntly, but Henry would have smiled if he was so exhausted for she clearly cared.

"Thank you," He said, his words weak, and while Cristina knew it was because of the post op infection which would eventually get better, she couldn't help but feel a slight worry.

Once in the hallway she pulled out her phone and went to find Teddy's text, and wrote to her:

"Just checked on him. Still has a high fever and chills. Can't sleep. Writing him a prescription for a mild decongestant. You can pick it up at the pharmacy in the morning."

It was but just a few minutes later when Yang was sitting down to begin working on post op notes that her phone buzzed and she read the simple text message. "Thank you for looking after him. I'm coming back in, don't worry about rounds tonight. You can take the night off if you want."

Yang knew exactly what that meant, and while part of her next response was because she was a workaholic and didn't like 'nights off', apart of it also was subconsciously out of protection for her mentor.

"He's having a hard night. Stay with him. I'll cover evening rounds and swing in to tell you if there's complications."

There was a delay in Teddy's response, but eventually the next text that came in was simply, "Thank you."

It was around 1:30am in which Teddy slowly opened the door to Henry's room. He didn't realize it was her, but instead thought it was a nurse or even Yang. Lying away from the door as the small amount of light and noise that came from it was made it hard to sleep - not that he was getting any. Teddy was silent for a moment, as she closed the door behind her, turning the handle as she did so not to make a sound.

Her green eyes softened as even from the doorway she could see Henry shivering, as he tried to get warm under the two thin tan hospital blankets they provided him. Knowing him to be too stiff and moving too much to be asleep, and yet too exhausted to turn around to see who was there, Teddy sighed softly and couldn't help but feel a pang of hurt for him.

But approaching him as she set down the paper bag that had the prescription she got, that wasn't the only thing she brought with her though. Folded under her arms was a brown, tan, and blue plaid blanket. It was a soft throw over, one that Teddy knew as Henry's favorite as he would always take it from the end of the couch where it was usually folded, and use it when he was watching TV, on cold nights in bed, or even when he was working or reading it would be around his shoulders. Drastically warmer and softer than anything the hospital could provide, Teddy thought it would provide him some comfort. And especially after Cristina's text, she was simply determined to be able to help him feel more comfortable.

"Hey." She said, softly and barely above a whisper and yet he jerked upward. Obviously tired and a little out of sorts, her voice was clearly a surprise to him and he turned around very uncoordinatedly to see if it was actually her or he was just hallucinating.

She smiled but approached him quickly, taking a hand and rubbing his shoulder. Instantly at her soft touch he relaxed, too tired for words, he simply exhaled calmly from her presence and touch. He moved a hand to place it over the hand she laid on his shoulder, squeezing it hard for support.

"I know. It's been a terrible night," she said, as she held his hand back.

He didn't respond, but simply wheezed in a slow inhale.

But letting go of his hand, Teddy unfolded the blanket under her arms and draped it over him. Moving to tuck in the stray sides of it to trap in the heat around him, she moved quietly around the bed to make sure that every side of the blanket was covering him. It was as she worked quietly and dutifully, that Henry feeling almost instant relief in the sudden warmth, smiled weakly yet genuinely, as he said,

"I love you."

Teddy smiled softly, even sadly for she still wished all this pain away from him. And yet it was as she pulled the soft blanket up to his chest, her delicate hands folding back the edge, she smiled down upon him as she laid a hand softly on his cheek. Though she could feel him burning up under her touch, she also could see genuine relief in his eyes. Her thumb gently ran across his pale cheek, as she simply looked into his tired green eyes for a long moment before she said as she casted her gaze down gracefully,

"I wanted to take you home. But, since that wasn't a possibility tonight, I thought I'd try to bring Home to you. I know you love this old thing." She said with a lightness in her voice.

There was no pain in his eyes as he smiled back at her, saying in even a comfortingly optimistic and even witty tone. "Ah well, with my wife and my favorite old blanket here, that's all I need. I am home."

Though it was slightly laced with humor, which was encouraging to Teddy for she knew as long as Henry could hang onto that, that he would be okay, she also knew the statement had truth in it.

Teddy moved from simply standing beside him, to sitting up on the bed, and then positioning herself to lay down next to him, comfortably. She moved the humble brown blanket out from under her, to only remain tucked around him, but allowed herself to move under the other two thin hospital blankets.

He turned to look at her, eyes struggling to stay open, and each breath he took a painful wheeze. But Teddy didn't mind in one bit, not the wheezing, or the way she could feel him still shivering.

"Come here." She said as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She moved to sit upward a little bit, so that as he leaned into her she could gently rest his head on her shoulder.

She rubbed his shoulders through the blankets, her movements very soft and slow, to be comforting and lulling.

She didn't know if it was the fact that she was laying next to him, and provided some warmth from her own body, or that she got him a warmer blanket, but eventually his shivering grew less violent and slowly stopped.

His wheezing became less heavy and loud, until all she felt was the comforting subtle warmth of his breath as he inhaled and exhaled.

With his head laying on her chest, his body close to her's, finally peacefully still and no longer cold with chills, she felt content in return. It didn't come instantly, but eventually, Henry was comfortable enough to fall deeply asleep.

And it was as he did, as she looked down at him as he rested easily, mouth just open slightly, his temperature even dropping suggesting the fever was finally breaking, she held him closer. He was deep in sleep and couldn't feel it, but she held him anyways. She ran a hand through his messy brown hair, kissed the top of his forehead, and placed a hand on his chest to feel his heart beating under her hand. Closing her eyes as she held his head close to her chest, she inhaled and readied herself to fall asleep beside him.

Yang eventually came in around 3:30 in the morning as she promised Teddy she would keep her updated. While the crack of the door opening and the light streaming in would usually be enough to wake the surgeon who was a light sleeper, she didn't stir now.

Instead Yang only felt slight reassurance for her mentor, as she saw her fast asleep, cuddled up next to her sick husband. For while Teddy usually didn't sleep deep, as much as Henry found enough comfort with her by his side, so did she find comfort in him. Yang slowly closed the door with a soft smile at how peaceful and content both looked, and could only feel glad that they could have this night.

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 **Hope you enjoyed! Part Two will be up within a week, but again, it will be a rather sad chapter. After Part Two of this shot is up, I'll write a new two shot, and just continue that pattern. Please let me know any thoughts you had!**


	2. Bring You Home Pt 2

_**Thank you my two reviewers for your feedback and comments sharing the love of Teddy and Henry - under-appreciated babes. This chapter took a little longer than expected, the next two will be relatively short and up this week most likely.**_

 _ **Again I want to reiterate that this chapter takes place after Henry dies, and parallels some events and themes touched on in the first chapter. It is VERY SAD in my opinion, and since again I've gotten some hate in reviews before for my stories being too sad - if you don't want your feels to be tugged maybe don't read. Or at least, don't say I didn't warn you.**_

 _ **Thoughts on the latest episode 14x17 on Grey's Anatomy anyone? OOf, the episode hurt me. Will talk more after this chapter, feel free to leave to share your thoughts on the episode in reviews. Hope you all enjoy! Next chapter will be the pre-Henry death part of a one shot so it will be happy I promise!**_

Bring You Home [ part 2 ]

There were many reasons why despite the emotional turmoil Teddy went through after Henry died, she still was able to choose with a clear head that he was going to be cremated. He never specified it in his Will, which shocked her: for a man who was so close to death he never acted like it. But as much as a frustration and burden it was now for her to make all these choices, she couldn't be angry at him, for she loved him for it. He never had the personality of a weak, sick, or dying man, and perhaps that was what made it so hard for her to accept he was gone.

The main reason she chose cremation was for his sister. Even as his only family left, she could not afford to fly from Prague - and that was even when Teddy offered to pay for her flight. She was broke, as Henry had told Teddy, and she also was devastated seeing as Henry never gave any impression to her that he could have fatal complications with his VHL. One phone call with her to break the news, and Teddy's heart was heavy because it was clear his sister loved him dearly. Knowing that Henry loved his sister deeply in return, Teddy wanted to help her be able to memorialize her brother. Which was why, Teddy decided to have Henry cremated so she could send half of his ashes to his sister.

There were other reasons too. Teddy didn't want a big ceremony, because she knew the reality of how many people were in Henry's life. As he told her once, she was the closest thing he had to a friend. Loving the man as much as she did, she couldn't afford to see him have a pitiful excuse of a funeral crowd. No, she needed to let him go in a quiet and private way. And finally, a part of her knew that she wasn't going to remain in Seattle forever - not with Henry gone. The thought of her sweet beloved husband having a sad, unvisited grave hurt her. Although any talk of burning or burying the man her heart belonged to hurt her now, she knew that she had to do right by him. It was the only thing she could give him now.

On that quiet peaceful snowing day, the last day Altman had before her bereavement period for work was up, she walked with the undertakers back to where Henry's body would be cremated. She wore a simple black dress and black coat, hardly any makeup for the fact she knew that she was likely going to cry. Her hair was in a loose yet formal bun with a few light strand of blonde bangs framing the side of her face, and oddly she carried her dark leather messenger bag from work shoulder.

There was no sound but the gentle click of her heels against the floor and the low voice of the undertaker as he opened the door and said, "Take as much time as you need, Dr. Altman."

Walking into the room she was well aware of what she was going to see, but she never would be prepared for it. For as she laid eyes on the furnace and approached where Henry laid on a simple platform that would enter the machine, she felt a painful reminder of the last time she saw her husband alive.

She was at his side like she was now, looking down upon him lovingly as he was about to enter a CT scan. Of course now was different, but somehow she couldn't help but think back upon that moment regretfully.

Placing a hand on Henry's shoulder she only wished that he could still give her that beaming smile he gave her before he went into the CT. That his optimistic voice could make light of his failing health and make her smile even in such dire situation. That she could look into his bright green eyes, because as much as he would always go on about how he could look into her eyes all day - she felt the same. Especially now, as she looked at his peacefully closed eyes, knowing she'd never see the soft loving look in his eyes ever again.

She was hesitant to see him again, for she thought she had gotten closure when she saw him in the OR. But when the reality hit her that all that was left of him would be gone soon, she knew as much as it would hurt her, she owed it to him.

It did hurt her, as she almost felt sick standing there with her thin hand placed over his shoulder. But at the same time, she was almost glad she did it just so she could see him for the last time in a more presentable state. Instead of being covered by an OR sheet, he wore his favorite hunter green pullover, grey pants, and worn brown leather shoes that he always insisted were so comfortable. While he still had that same pale tone and cold touch, somehow seeing him again here had a different effect on her, so much so that she began to speak softly.

"I don't know if you remember, but you wore this the day I asked you to marry me," she said as her thumb rubbed his shoulder and the soft fabric of the green pullover. Her voice instantly broke upon those first words, and she had to instantly raise her free hand to wipe a tear out of the corner of her eye.

Exhaling hardly and closing her eyes as she felt more tears prick the back of her eyes, threatening to pool over her flushed cheeks. She held his shoulder harder now, as if offering some comfort and support that he could not feel.

"And I..." She began, her voice breaking now and tears falling freely as she opened her green eyes to look at him. But she didn't try to stop the tears now. It was just him and her, and she needed to feel this, wanted to feel this.

"I wish I could have given you longer. Longer to live, longer to love. I mean, you always loved me, I knew that from the start. But I, I did too." She said, moving her hand from his shoulder now to slide under his left hand. Raising his hand from his torso where it was folded over his right hand, she wrapped both her hands around his and held it tight, cupping it gently with support like she often had done whenever she was worried when he was in the hospital. His hand was heavy dead weight in her hands, and as she held it tight she felt only a cold touch in return.

"I always had loved you, even when I was pushing you away, when I was dating. I was just afraid, afraid of..." her voice trailed and her head lowered almost as if in shame of what she was saying. With her lowered head she raised his hand she held so tightly and kissed it, closing her eyes as she did.

"I was afraid to lose you. But I realize now how foolish I was to think like that, because even though you're gone now, I am grateful for the time we had. You showed me a happiness that I had never known in my life, and Henry I will hold on to everything you have given me."

She lowered his hand now, her own thumb rubbing over the top of his hand. "I'll hold onto what we had with everything I've got."

Swallowing hard she slid up the sleeve of his pullover to see a leather band still around his wrist - his medical alert bracelet. Teddy closed her eyes and laughed weakly, as she unclipped the band and removed it from his wrist. Placing his hand to rest over his other one folded over his torso, Teddy ran her a finger over his engraved name and health information, remembering how the hospital only cared enough about him to give him this when he couldn't afford his surgery.

Opening her leather messenger bag to slide the bracelet into there, she gave a sad smile as she pulled out what she carried in with that bag. In her arms she held a folded blanket, the same dark brown and navy plaid worn blanket that he had loved so much.

It was a painful reminder back at the apartment, folded at the end bed where it usually was for him to use if he got cold in the middle of the night. She was about to sell it with many of his other belongings that she simply had no use for, when she raised it to her nose and breathed in, and as she did with closed eyes, it was almost like he was there next to her in bed again. Not only did it still smell like him, but there was also too many memories attached, of them on the couch watching a movie or the time she brought it into the hospital to help him stay warm because he was so sick.

She remembered that moment vividly, and how after she had tucked it around him he was able to rest easily with the slight feeling of home around him. Running a hand over its soft surface, she tried to think that by giving it to him now she would in some way be giving him a small amount of comfort one last time.

She didn't say anything as she folded out the blanket, and then gently draped it over him carefully. Thin hands pulled it up to his torso before folding the top back so that the blanket covered just up to his hands. She couldn't help but smoothen it out and tuck it in as like she had when she brought it to him in the hospital.

With the back of her hand she touched his cheek, his skin was soft but she felt physical pain in her stomach at how cool to the touch he was. As a doctor who had dealt with many cadavers, she was no stranger to this. But feeling death's cold touch in the man she loved most was completely different, because she was so used to his skin being warm, his body having movement even if it was a twitch of a smile or the rise and fall of his chest. He was too still and cold that it was almost hard for her to believe it really was him. But she knew it was him, and she also knew that her time with what was left of him was ending.

With the gentlest touch she touched the side of his face as she said through blinked back tears, a break of pain in her voice,

"I'm so sorry."

Sorry she took so long to realize she loved him. Sorry he had lived such a lonely and painfully short life. Sorry that he didn't wake up from his surgery. Sorry that she crushed his dreams of going to medical school. Sorry she couldn't save him.

Placing that same hand gently on his forehead, and then proceeding to run her hand through his soft brunette hair, Teddy closed her eyes as she felt too many tears around to slip down her cheek. As she kept her hand running through his hair, she lowered her own head to lovingly place a final kiss on his forehead.

As she pulled back up and looked down at him, green eyes saddened and glossed and her hand caressing his forehead and then cheek softly one last time, she stifled back the need to break down and sob as she said in a broken voice,

"Goodbye, Henry."

It was the hardest words she had ever had to say, and yet there was not even a soul in the room to hear her say them.

She lowered her head and gaze sadly now, as she slowly and lethargically lifted the leather strap of her bag onto her shoulder. She stood there for a moment, exhaling in the need for strength to leave his side. But as her loving green gaze fell over him, she froze in her attempt to back away from him, not before she could say one last time.

"I love you."

Those had to be her last words to him, because that was what he was and always would be to her: the love of her life.

She stayed and waited in a comfortable enough waiting room until it was done. Though her head was lowered as if asleep, in truth she could get no rest with so many thoughts on her mind. The sun was almost lowered and the snow flurries were only getting heavier as one of the undertakers finally came out to her with a small wood box in his hand.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Dr. Altman," he said as he placed it in her hands.

It was heavier than she expected in her thin and even shaking hands, but she held it securely and eventually simply laid it on her lap. It was a simple design, a beautifully carven rectangle box, made of smoothen dark cherry wood.

Her thumb traced over the words that she had chosen to be engraved into the top of the box.

"Henry Burton

1966-2012

Beloved Husband"

"The other half will be shipped to the address you provided in Prague. Again I'm so sorry." The undertaker said, clearly seeing the look of painful sorrow in the young widow's eyes as she looked down at the wooden container in her hands and nodded.

"Thank you," was all she was able to say under her breath, before she left to walk out into the blustery winter air.

The sky was darkening but the contrasting light specks of snow that drifted down slowly but peacefully offered a calming atmosphere. As she found her car, Teddy leaned against the vehicle as she held the wood urn in her hands close to her chest. The events of the past week hit her all at once, as she felt as if she were about to collapse against the car. Managing to open the driver's seat, she did not even turn on the car, but instead fell over into her hands which rest above the wood box in her lap and cried.

After driving home late in the night through the thickening snow, by the time Teddy got home she only had enough energy to slip into her sleepwear, which consisted of blue flannel pajama pants and an old overside grey t shirt which had belonged to Henry. Not wanting to sleep in their empty bed, Teddy instead resorted to laying down on the couch - where she couldn't feel the empty space beside her. With her husband's ashes resting on the mantle in the same room, somehow after many sleepless tonights she finally was able to fall asleep. Even more miraculously was that she was able to sleep through the entire night with no nightmares or even dreams at all. For the first time since Henry had died, she was able to rest.

 _ **I took a few liberties with assuming what happened after Henry died, just some ideas I had of what COULD have happened. Few themes in this chapter particularly that of cremating a loved one with a blanket from their life hit home for me on a rather personal level, and so that was where the inspiration was from. Hope you all enjoyed nonetheless.**_

 _ **Thoughts on the new Grey's episode though...**_

 _ **CAN TEDDY ALTMAN just be HAPPY? Please Shonda, is it that hard to ask? After everything she's been through I am so mad they are hurting her again. She is so strong and deserves the world. When she brought up Henry I nearly cried, because after all these years she still holds such a place in her heart for Henry and it hurts me so much. This is why Teddy and Henry are my grey's otp. I think of all the characters, even over Meredith and Derek, she grieves the most for her deceased love. Teddy is so compassionate and just, a good person, okay Shonda? She deserves better than to be hurt by Owen again - not that I am against Towen - I'm just mad at how he brought up Henry. I mean I'm glad Henry is not forgotten on the show like so many other characters, I just hated seeing Teddy hurt. I hope that's not the last time we see her because I would hate to leave her character like that.**_


	3. Wake Me Up Pt 1

**_Alright here is part one of my second little two shot. Part one is a little more on the slow side, but mostly just touching on some light fluff between Teddy and Arizona's friendship - seeing as that was touched upon in the latest episode of Grey's briefly which made me happy. This may turn into a three shot where I maybe touch upon Teddy and Arizona's supposed phone call that was mentioned in the latest Grey's episode, but we'll see. All I know is that the next part will definitely be up soon and will really hit some feels - and will involve Arizona again._**

 _ **Hope you all are enjoying! Thank you so much for both your feedback on the writing and even discussion of episodes. I'll be PMing anyone who leaves a review, or has left a review, tomorrow after work to send my thanks for your feedback and discuss Grey's.**_

Wake Me Up [ part 1 ]

Wake me up when it's all over When I'm wise and I'm older All this time I was trying to find myself And I didn't know I was lost

Teddy awoke to a soft hand placed on her shoulder accompanied by the sound of her name, but the surgeon - who was already lacking in sleep as it was - was disoriented and took a moment to realize who it was.

"I didn't realize you've had such a long day, I can get Yang if you want." Arizona said regretfully at how groggy the blonde cardio surgeon was.

Teddy was doing charts and notes by Henry's bedside following a very minor and easy procedure - but Webber insisted on keeping him in the hospital overnight just in case. Although the procedure revolving around the device in him to control his diabetes was very simple, Teddy still had to juggle being there for him nonetheless, and her abundance of cases. Of course Altman wouldn't back down on her caseload if she could handle it, but by the end of the day as Henry was waking up from surgery, Teddy settled herself down in a chair next to him completely exhausted.

"You look more exhausted than me, and I'm just coming out of being under," Henry joked immediately as he woke up, and Teddy almost rolled her eyes at the man's ability to always have a sense of wit - no matter how tired either of them were.

"Yeah uh, it's been a day." Teddy said without even the heart to make a sarcastic comment back, and at that Henry realized she truly was tired.

"Why don't you go home and get some sleep, or at least maybe get some rest in an on call room." Henry said his voice softening a little, as caring green eyes looked at her as a hand that was covered in IVs laid over her's.

"I'm okay, gotta finish these notes anyways," she said raising her big stack of notes up for Henry to see with a pained smile, before she opened one up, placed it on the bedside table close to him, and began writing as she talked to him about how he felt - and then a number of other things until eventually she got more and more tired, and he didn't even try to keep her awake.

As she woke up now to Arizona's touch, she realized she had fallen asleep in the chair beside Henry, her head lying on a chart which was on his bed now. Glancing rapidly as she pushed blonde strands away to see that it was 2:30 in the morning, she closed her eyes in frustration, as she rubbed her face.

"Oh god, I fell asleep again." She said letting her head fall with defeat and an exaggerated sigh into her charts.

Though it was a slight exaggeration, Arizona could tell the frustration in her friend's voice. Pulling out her phone she texted Cristina to take care of the task she was fetching Teddy for, and instead pulled up a chair next to her as her hands slid under her charts and notes, and with a bright smile despite the late hour it was, she reached for a pen in her coat pocket and clicked it.

"I'll help you finish these, and then tomorrow you can give a consult on the kid that Cristina is going to do an echo on."

"Arizona you don't have-" Teddy began with a shake of her head, feeling bad for taking up the busy Pediatric surgeon's time - and at such an hour. But Arizona quickly cut her off as she firmly laid a hand over the charts and looked Teddy in the eye.

"Well, I'm going to anyways! And besides, it'll give us a chance to catch up."

Teddy sighed in defeat as she handed Arizona a half finished chart, and then grabbed for her own, her green eyes glancing up tiredly at Henry as she did.

"How's he doing? It was a major surgery this time, we it?" Arizona asked softly.

"No his VHL has actually been, it hasn't been giving him any problems lately. Scans in last month in June were clear, and he was just in for some adjusting of his device for his diabetes." Teddy said with a nod, working her pen to chart down numbers and notes, before glancing up at Arizona with a genuinely optimistic smile and nod.

"I think, you know I can't get optimistic-"

Arizona scoffed lightly at this, for while Teddy was the more pessimistic of the two - Arizona couldn't hide her optimist.

"- But I, you know I think he's going to be okay."

"I'm sure he will." Arizona said confidently as she closed a chart she finished with a bright look in her blue eyes.

"After all, he's got the best doctor always with him. If there's anyone who is going to get what they need, and be taken care of, it's him. I'm so happy it's working out for you two." Arizona said, as she couldn't help but smile brightly, genuinely happy for a friend she had seen alone for far too long.

"Me too." Teddy said more softly, her voice not quite as blissful as her friend, but loving nonetheless as she looked at her sleeping husband.

"How's Sofia?" Teddy asked, not wanting to only harp on about her own life.

"Oh she's doing great, she's starting to crawl and be able to move around more! She really is, such a happy little kid."

Now it was Teddy's turn to smile brightly and supportively for her friend, as she said, "That must make you very happy. See, you were so worried about the kid but you, you're such a great mom." Teddy said honestly.

"And a good mom in dealing with Callie and Mark, if you know what I mean." Teddy added with a light laugh as she closed a chart and grabbed another one.

Arizona laughed and said, "Oh Mark hasn't been all that bad. He's into cooking now though, and is trying to rope me into it too. Which I mean sounds fun, but I'm busy enough as it is."

"Well everyone needs an outlet." Teddy said simply, as she signed a paper and closed enough chart, picking up speed as Arizona's company kept her away.

"Oh yeah, what's your outlet then?" Arizona asked, and Teddy lifted her gaze suddenly, before she glanced down at Henry and back at Arizona with a sheepish smile.

"We go on runs..." Teddy said, trying to correct that suggestive look but Arizona only laughed and nodded as she said,

"Sure, just like you and Mark went on runs." Arizona played along with the teasing.

Teddy laughed and shook her head as she said, "Hey just because a newborn is preventing you and Callie from having good nights doesn't mean I have to hide mine."

"No need to rub it in." Arizona said finally, but as always with a light sarcastic tone.

"You know, you and Henry should come over sometime. We can turn Mark's cooking frenzy into something useful."

Instinctually Teddy placed a hand over Henry's, even if he was asleep, as she said, "That'd be really nice even if we have to include Mark," She half joked, but truly did look forward to such an occasion.

"I don't think Henry's met Sofia yet either. He's good with kids right?" Arizona asked, instinctively slightly protective of Sofia.

"I mean yeah I'm pretty sure, I've never 'observed him with kids', but he likes them. At least has mentioned more than numerous times he wants some in the future so." Teddy said as casually as possible but instantly Arizona almost leapt in enthusiasm, losing complete focus from her charts as she smiled sweetly and said.

"Aw Teddy, you would be a great mom."

"That's what Henry keeps telling me. I've always wanted kids but it never seems practical, hell having a partner in life never seemed practical until recently. We're taking it slow though, what's the rush after all. But it is exciting." Teddy couldn't help but say with the softest smile, as she finished her last chart and handed it to Arizona.

"Well you know you, I would make a pretty good Godmother too." Arizona half joked as she grabbed the stack of finished charts.

"Are you hinting around at something?" Teddy asked sarcastically.

"Definitely not." Arizona said with a quick smile.

"Well good because someday I'd want me asking you to be Henry and I's hypothetical child to be a big surprise." Teddy teased finally as she stood up, about ready to follow Arizona out. But Arizona smiled at Teddy's words, and instead shook her head and said.

"Stay with him. I'll have Yang file these. I'll page you at 10 for the consult." She said in her more business voice until saying finally,

"And don't worry I'll still act surprised."

Teddy laughed as Arizona left, finding her spirits lifted after a long day as they often were by Arizona's lively and bubbly presence. Grateful that her work was done, Teddy leaned back into the chair as the sunrise's rays beamed into the room. Holding Henry's hand between her's, she smiled at the happiness and peace of the moment and pondered all her and Arizona spoke of.

 _ **I love some situational irony - not going to lie that the fact that most of the happy stuff these two talkd about is crushed kinda hurt to write. This friendship does not get enough recognition so, even if this chapter was a little slow, I hope at least y'all appreciated the interactions. Thanks for reading!**_


	4. Wake Me Up Pt 2

**My apologies for the wait on this one. I have been pretty busy with work and preparing for college but I have been working on this one for awhile and got some feels inspiration last night and finished it up.**

 **May I just say there are not enough fanfictions revolving around Teddy Altman out there. I am so pumped for her return in Season 15, and just hope that the writers stop hurting her and give her some happiness in her life for once.**

 **That being said, yes I hurt her in this chapter and it's pretty sad. It's my interpretation of what might have happened following the scene where she says goodbye to Henry's body. Of course paralleling with the last chapter, there's a lot of Arizona and Teddy friendship moments. And my next duo of chapters will probably focus on what Arizona mentions at the end of this chapter. In the show they jumped two weeks after Henry's death, and I feel like there's so much aftermath and emotions we missed during then. So I'll be writing some of my own interpretations of that in this fic.**

She wasn't asleep, there was no way in which she could rest now, and yet it was a soft and hesitant hand that attempted to get her attention anyways. Arizona's voice was low and quiet, tender in that she understood the vulnerability of her friend in this moment.

"Teddy," the soft mention of her name broke the deafening silence of the dim OR.

Arizona's applied pressure to the hold she had on Teddy's shoulder, coaxing her to realize she was there with her now. And yet for the longest time, the cardio surgeon could not lift her head up to face her friend. She had neither the physical nor mental will to get up, to leave him, to move on.

Arizona was just getting out of a surgery that had gone surprisingly well, despite the chaos of the family with hypothermia and the rush of worry in her head for the crash Alex was in. The evening was the definition of a dark and stormy night, and as the wee hours of night finally made their way until morning and then midday, Arizona got her first time to sit down and relax in nearly twenty four hours as she sat in the attendings lounge to eat and take a drink of well needed coffee.

Somehow in the bustle of her own patients and the worry she had over the baby Alex was getting - and then Alex himself - Teddy and Henry's situation had slipped past her entirely. The pediatric doctor only knew that her close friend's husband was admitted in the ER, but this was hardly a surprise or rarity. As bad as it was, Henry was a patient in the hospital more often then not, and she didn't think anything of him being here.

But it was just as she sitting down to enjoy the much needed cup of coffee that Dr. Cristina Yang of all people came into the attending's lounge. That alone made Arizona look up at her with confusion in her eyes, not that she would be one to kick the cardio resident out, but it was odd seeing as Yang never really broke the rules for attention or glory. No, she was one to steal surgeries, not brag about sneaking into the Attending's lounge.

And the oddities only continued as the doctor approached Arizona directly, and even though the blonde doctor was tired and her intuitions were slightly down, just from Yang's almost regretful and solemn look she knew something was terribly wrong.

"Dr. Yang, is everything ok-"

"She needs you." Was all Yang started with.

"She, wait who? Altman? I thought her patient was an adult, and she didn't-"

"No, no not like that. Her patient is fine. But she hasn't..." Cristina spoke quickly but suddenly her voice trailed as her gaze hardened a little on Arizona.

"Oh my god you haven't heard." Cristina said almost coldly, with fear, even hesitation. It was very uneasy for the blonde doctor to see the usually very bold and confident young doctor like this.

"Heard...what exactly?" Arizona asked tentatively, not with much concern yet as she still dipped on her coffee.

"Henry came in with a carcinoid tumor, and he didn't make it through surgery."

Instantly Arizona's eyes widened in brief horror as she paused in reaching for the coffee cup, mouth opening but with no words able to come out due to shock.

"Oh my god, that's terrible, that's awful. Oh god, poor Teddy. Where is she? When did this happen, is Owen helping her, I would have gone and find her if I would have known but-" Arizona rambled, nervously, with stuttering and unbelievable words.

"She's been in the same OR with Henry for several hours now, she won't move. Owen...made some bad calls, he's the last one she'd want to hear from."

"Oh my god she's all alone dealing with this, why aren't you with her?" Arizona said almost frantically, completely ditching her coffee as she moved to the exit of the attending's lounge rather urgently.

"I've tried I have, but she won't talk to me. She won't talk to the people from the morgue, I mean it's a little ridiculous at this point he's been gone for like 9 hours now-"

But it was as Yang attempted even the slightest complaint about her mentor's actions, that one hard look from Arizona shut her down.

"She needs you." Cristina said firmly, before diverting away from Robbins. It was evident certain emotions were raging through the Resident as well, and Arizona couldn't exactly blame her. But Arizona urgently made her way to find out which OR Teddy was in, to coax her to move and come out.

ORs are cold. They don't usually feel cold when surgeons are gowned up, under lights, working hard in open cavities where the extreme cold temperatures help to kill bacteria, but it was now that Teddy realized just how cold, dark, and empty the OR really was.

From sitting on the same stool in the same motionless position for hours, the Cardiothoracic Surgeon had never felt so cold in an OR before. But for as much as she was cold, her thin hand which laid over Henry's still and lowered chest only felt a body much colder than her own.

The only movement that could have been seen from the surgeon was the occasional rock of her shoulders and head, suggesting as she laid her head in her crossed arms on the OR table, that she was sobbing. Part of her head rested in folded arms, the other against his still chest.

She was so accustom to it, having often fallen asleep laid against his chest in the comforts of their bed. But now his chest was cold and did not rise in a lulling and comforting rhythm. She could not hear his strong heart under her ear. All there was to hear, was silence.

And yet from the way she laid her head down as she sat on that stool next to him, it appeared as if she was asleep. And that was Arizona's first though when she entered the OR and saw her good friend's head rested against the half uncovered body of her husband.

The OR doors were loud enough to have woken her, as were Arizona's shoe steps loud enough for Teddy to know someone was here. But even if the women didn't stir as Arizona approached, she knew she wasn't asleep. Teddy found no rest, no comfort, no closure in being here for so long, she just was doing the one thing she could - be with him.

"Oh, Teddy." Arizona sighed her name again as she tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder, but then moved to rub her back that same hand.

"Teddy it's been hours, this isn't going to help you anymore. Come on." She coaxed gently as she moved her hand back up to her shoulder, applying gentle pressure to try and urge her to sit up.

No response, not even a physical movement, came from the surgeon who still laid with her head down against her husband's chest.

There was hesitation in Arizona's words as she knew what she was about to say would hurt the woman, but eventually she spoke it objectively but softly,

"They have to take him now. I'm, I'm sorry but you have to say go-"

"I can't." The Cardio Surgeon replied for the first time, her voice broken and unsteady.

Her head finally lifted up and her hand slowly slid away from where it had been resting over Henry's still heart, as she took that hand and held her forehead and said with a shake of her head, "I can't just leave him."

"You can, it'll be hard but it's okay to go now-" Arizona began as she took Teddy's free hand and cupped it with her own hands.

"- you were the most caring and loving wife to him, and he knew it. You aren't leaving him, Teddy, you are not abandoning his side or betraying that love you have for him."

At Arizona's words Teddy looked down, trying to hide her tearful gaze as Arizona's next words could not help but cause those tears to run down her cheeks.

"He's already gone, Teddy."

There was no response from Teddy, as she only silently still held her head lowered and away from Arizona who stood close beside her.

"It's okay to leave him now. He's, he's not here anymore."

Teddy's tearful gaze fell on Henry now, as Arizona's words sunk in and she knew, she was right.

The man she had loved so dearly, the man who had showed her what happiness was for the first time in her life, used to be the body on this OR table. The pale and still face she looked at now used to kiss her gently, used to give her a smile that could brighten any day despite how bad things were at work. Behind now closed eyelids, were radiant and warm green eyes, so full of life and love that as much as Henry would be the one to say he could look into her eyes all day, she could only say the same for his.

And yet Arizona was right, she would never feel his loving kiss, would never see his jovial or endearing gaze, ever again. She didn't know where the man who had loved her so faithfully was now, but she knew that he wasn't here beside her.

For a moment there was silence between the two. Teddy cleared her teary gaze as Arizona let go of her hand and she wiped the side of her cheek. With a long exhale she looked down at her husband and she felt a sharp twist of pain in her stomach.

She had seen soldiers bleed out in the battlefield, she knew how pale a body got when it lost more than half its blood volume. It was so much blood to lose, and she never thought she'd see it as bad as she saw it in Iraq. But here she was, looking at her husband who was now paler than most soldiers were upon death on battlefield.

It hurt: that he had suffered even if unconsciously such a death. It hurt her to know that he had gone under thinking the next thing he'd wake up to was her love, but that would never happen. He never woke up.

She didn't want to see it, see his mouth parted from the ET tube that blood came up through, his body stiffening with rigor mortis, to see how abnormally pale he was.

She was a doctor, she knew the cold and empty biological realities of death, but as she got up from the stool she had sat on for hours and placed a hand on top of Henry's head - she wished she could forget all of her medical knowledge.

Her hand rubbed over his cold forehead and through his brown hair one last time, before sliding her hand from him. She stood with a lowered head, eyes closed to hold back tears, but as she heard Arizona move to drape the white sheet back over him she shook her head and said quickly, "Wait."

Hesitating only for a second, she reached her hand out and grabbed his own hand that laid limp and heavy on the table. Wrapping both her thin hands around his one cold pale hand, she brought his hand up to her lips, and held it there for a long moment. She rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand, she kissed the top of his fingers that she folded down in her hold.

Swallowing hard she struggled to speak through choking tears to Arizona, "I, I promised him I would hold his hand in Post Op."

The desperate words of undying love from her best friend made Arizona have to blink back tears, but she needed to be strong for her. Moving forward she put a hand on Teddy's arm, and gently guided her to set Henry's hand back down. She had no words for Teddy in that vulnerable moment, but looked back at her for almost permission before she very carefully and slowly pulled the white drape back over Henry's body.

Teddy's head fell hard into her hands as tears shook her body again, but Arizona held one of her shoulders and pulled her into an embrace.

"It's okay, you're going to be okay," The pediatric surgeon spoke softly.

"He's gone, Arizona," she said through those crippling sobs, and she probably would have collapsed onto the ground in tears had Arizona not been there to hold her.

"I know, and it's hard. It's okay to cry, it's okay to grieve him, but you can't stay here. Come home with me tonight." Arizona pleaded with the unstable woman as she held her close.

"You don't have to be alone tonight." Arizona said softly, and was only relieved when she felt Teddy's head nod against her shoulder, agreeing to it.

There were no words exchanged between the two as she ushered Teddy out of the OR. Arizona grabbed Henry's charts and Teddy's scrub cap that the distraught widow had forgot both of them completely.

Teddy didn't look back when she left, she couldn't for she already was crying into her hand as Arizona walked her out of that OR. But Arizona did look back, looked back at the covered body with a sorrowful gaze as she gaze her best friend's husband a silent goodbye.


	5. Anchorage Pt 1

It seemed that through every step it took the get the cardio surgeon home, that she was only just barely hanging on to her sanity. Despite the looks of pity that nurses and doctors casted her way as she exited the building, Arizona held her hand and kept her walking straight out to the parking lot. As the cool Seattle winter breeze hit them, Teddy did not even flinch even if she only wore her navy scrubs. Her head was lowered, as she didn't even seem to acknowledge the world around her as Arizona led her to her car.

"Hand me your keys, I'm going to drive you home." Arizona said with soft support, and as light of a tone as she could as she fished the keys out of Teddy's purse for herself, seeing as the blonde cardio doctor was almost too stunned to do anything.

Arizona tossed in the back seat a plastic bag that held Henry's belongings he had brought into the hospital, as well as Teddy's clothes that she had worn into the hospital. As the newly widowed doctor fell into the passenger seat she said with her gaze avoiding Arizona's,

"Just throw that shirt out." She said in regards to the light purple shirt she had worn in that was stained in the blood Henry had coughed up.

Arizona only nodded as she started the car and immediately turned down the music - knowing the mood was almost too solemn for that. That was the only thing Teddy said to her best friend on that drive home, but Arizona didn't expect anything more from her. She was exhausted, physically and mentally, and what was there to say after all? Pulling out of the hospital, Arizona grit her jaw a little knowing that the night ahead wouldn't be easy. But one glance over to her dear friend, who sat with her head lowered in defeat in her hands, and Arizona knew she couldn't leave her to deal with this alone.

Teddy denied getting food on the way home of course, but it was during the rather short ride home that a soft and peaceful snowfall fell over the city of Seattle.

"First snowfall of the year." Arizona said with a small chipper smile, but it was subdued given the circumstances. Teddy however only gazed up at the peaceful scenery, and then closed her eyes to hide tears that threatened to fall. She put her hand up to her mouth to hide the sorrow that befell her face when she remembered just earlier on yesterday morning Henry had been excited for the possibility of snow coming this week.

Pulling into Teddy's apartment, Arizona brought everything in for the surgeon who still remained silent. However it was as Teddy unlocked her apartment to go in, that instantly the scene she had left when she last walked in flashed back to her.

The surgeon stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of dried blood on the kitchen tile and in the sink. Arizona didn't seem to notice at first, putting down Henry's belongings on their couch and tucking Teddy's unwanted shirt in a plastic bag that she would make a note to take care of, it wasn't until she realized that Teddy wasn't at her side that she found the cardio doctor standing there frozen. Following Teddy's gaze to the signs of what had happened, Arizona immediately regretted not bringing Teddy back to her own place.

"Teddy..." she began softly, her voice quiet and calm as she approached her good friend slowly and took her hand and then her arm.

"Come on, you don't need to look at that. I'll clean it up for you-"

Teddy opened her mouth as if she wanted to say otherwise, but the words escaped her, so Arizona simply cupped her hands around Teddy's hands and held them tight.

"I'll take care of it. I promise, now come on maybe you should change." She said as she led the woman in the direction of her bedroom before turning around to approach the blood stains.

A good amount of evidently thick heaves of blood remained in her kitchen sink and it made Arizona's stomach tighten. Swallowing hard and finding it hard to keep any bright expression in her face, she fished Hydrogen Peroxide from under the sink and started scrubbing away at the blood as Teddy changed. That was when she felt the buzzing vibration in the back pocket of her scrubs.

Stopping her important task and taking the call as she kneeled on the tile floors she said,

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's really late. Callie isn't worried but I am, Sofia didn't go to bed easy without you. Everything okay?" Mark asked in his usual, jovial voice.

Sitting down fully on the cold tile, Arizona inhaled and brushed a few strands of hair behind her ears, before fidgeting with her hold on the phone.

"I'm fine, Mark. I'm fine. But uh, no everything isn't okay." She said with as steady of a voice she could, but her voice was uncharacteristically low and solemn.

"You sound terrible, Robbins. You should really come home." Mark said affectionately.

"No I uh, I can't. I'm not coming home tonight." She said with a wavering voice.

"Now you really got me worried, what's going on? Maybe I can help." Mark insisted.

"Mark, I'm with Teddy. I'm staying with her tonight."

For a moment the surgeon on the other line fell silent, for he knew why Arizona was there - news about Henry had traveled fast through the hospital.

"It's terrible, what happened to him. Can't imagine what Teddy's going through." Mark spoke in a lowered and more respectful tone.

"Yeah, that's why I'm staying with her tonight."

"Okay you do good, Robbins. I'll have to stop by and give her my condolences."

"Maybe wait a few days Mark, she's...she's a pretty torn up."

"Fine, Understandable. But you take good care of her. She's stubborn though so don't take it too hard if you can't help her."

"I'll keep that in mind, Mark. Give Sofia a kiss for me. I could really use having her with me tonight." Arizona said as she cupped the phone closer but continued to work hard at rubbing off the blood from the floor.

"Well maybe I can bring her by if you can't make it home by tomorrow." Mark said gently, obviously beginning to pick up on Arizona's tone and how upset she actually was.

"Maybe." The pediatric surgeon spoke with a sad smile, before ending her conversation with Mark and focusing back on cleaning Teddy's kitchen of reminders of what had happened.

After coming back into the apartment after she had thrown out the towels that had blood on them and Teddy's blood stained shirt, she found Teddy's bedroom door still shut. Arizona was at first hesitant to open the door, but she figured that after about half an hour of her being in there, it was about time she checked in on her.

/

As the door opened softly it didn't make a sound, and so the doctor was not even aware when her husband entered the room. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her head bowed into her hands, quietly upset over the loss of a particularly young patient. She held her emotions in at work, and let Arizona handle informing the parents of the loss, seeing as she had taken it personal and had a lot of hope for a patient that in the end she could not save. Bird covered scrub cap held tight in her hand, it wasn't until Henry sat down next to her that she lifted her head to look at him.

"I'm sorry," she spoke quietly as she tucked the scrub cap away into the pocket of her scrubs and rubbed her eyes, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.

"I didn't even say hi to you when I came home, I know, it's just…it was a rough day at work."

With a gentle "shh" Henry placed his arms around her form, and pulled her closer to lean against him. His thumb rubbed her shoulder, and his head turned to kiss her damp cheek as he spoke lovingly.

"You don't need to be sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head as she leaned her head against his shoulder and fell into his embrace. She felt safe enough to let her emotional guard down with him, and so she turned her head into his shoulder and cried.

"I'm sorry, I usually never cry over patients like this," she said in defense of her behavior with a wavering voice.

But gentle hands wiped the tears from her cheeks, and held her head close to him as he ran his fingers through her golden blonde hair to let it out of the braid she kept it up in when operating. Once he had brushed his hands through her hair which was wavy from the braids she kept them up in, he kissed the top of her head as he held her close and said,

"Well no, you don't. Because its pretty rare for you to take a hard loss, I mean if my odds were against me I'd go to you for surgery in a heartbeat. You're one of the best at what you do." He spoke in an optimistic but still softened tone.

"And on the rare chance you can't save them, no one else could have either," he added with an even quieter tone.

"I'm used to losing patients, Henry. I was in the Army, we lost good men every day but I kept my composure."

"Hon, it's not a bad thing to show emotion." He said as he cradled her in his arms as she cried into his chest, rubbing her back and shoulder as he did.

"You have too big of a heart for your own good." He continued, with pride and love in his soft green eyes, as he grabbed a light pink blanket from her side of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders.

She didn't know what to say, but his loving words helped. He held her close and stayed with her in bed, letting her talk out her emotions as he listened patiently and supportively. Eventually the stress of the day took its toll on her, and despite her raging emotions she felt comforted enough to drift off, eventually falling asleep with her head in his lap.

Her emotions were not completely out of character but they eventually would make Henry and even herself consider their implications. After all, the two were what could say, trying for a kid at this point. And even if this emotional spill happened to genuinely be due to the lost patient, and not hormones, the two in the coming weeks would constantly be looking for signs that they were going to have a family.

/

As Arizona opened Teddy's door the image of the Cardio Surgeon kneeled on the floor with her head in her hands made Arizona feel a pang in her stomach. Kneeling down slowly next to her, she laid her hand on her shoulder and could feel Teddy's body shake as she cried into her hands.

"You don't have to be okay." Arizona said lowly, as she moved her hand to rub her back.

She was still in her blue scrubs, had not even attempted to change, but Arizona wasn't about to argue with her about it. And while Arizona truly would have liked to get Teddy off the floor and perhaps on her bed or even couch, she also understood that it wasn't about whether she felt comfortable or not - she needed to be there for her.

So Arizona sat fully on the ground, and with arms around Teddy, held her sobbing kneeled form closer to her as she just embraced her, held her close, gave her as much physical and emotional support as she could.

"I'm here for you." Arizona said, her voice neither chipper nor gleeful, but always sweet.

And while Teddy was too much of a mess to reply, she heard Arizona's words and knew them to be genuine and true. While the widow's heart ached that it would no longer be her loving husband who supported her, perhaps it was Arizona's presence that kept Teddy from breaking down even more than she was now.

It was fair to say neither woman got much sleep that night. It took a good hour or two for Teddy to stop crying, but when she eventually did, Arizona was able to get her to change into sleepwear and to take a shower even if it was 3 in the morning.

Arizona resorted to making coffee for herself as Teddy showered, knowing that her friend wasn't going to sleep anytime soon - and so therefore would need Arizona to stay awake. She went ahead and made Teddy a cup of tea as well, though as she kind of predicted, she only bothered to take a few sips just to be polite to Arizona.

Eventually the two were sitting together on the sofa which faced out at the porch, the whole city of Seattle covered in white snow that continued to fall as their peaceful view. It was still night, but Arizona knew they'd probably be awake until the sun rose. Teddy held the cup of tea Arizona had made her for dear life, but eventually her gaze dropped down as she spoke in a hardly audible tone.

"It hasn't really sunk in, I mean, even just tonight I've had moments where I doubted that this all actually happened," Teddy began with a wavering and unsteady voice.

"And it's only after I tell myself, over and over again, that yes, this did happen, I did lose him, do I ask myself - what do I do now?" Teddy finished as she finally was able to pull her gaze towards Arizona, green eyes gleamed with emotions and sorrow.

Arizona inhaled slowly, as the whole situation was so beyond her control, and perspective. However a part of her thought back to her emotions, her thoughts, when her brother Tim had passed. She tried hard to remember what pieces of advice those around her then had given her to her through such a terrible time.

"It's an impossible situation to face Teddy, and there is no right or wrong answer. You have to do what's best for you know next." Arizona spoke softly, but also with a strong and encouraging tone.

"Because I know no matter what, he'd want you to take care of yourself." Arizona added.

"It's easier said than done I mean he's gone, and I can't just feel better because he's..." Teddy began, flustered with raw emotions getting the better of her.

"Teddy, he loved you so much. You and I both know that all he would want now, is for you to be okay."

At Arizona's words, a painful reminder of the type of rare unconditional love she had lost, her heads fell back into her hands. It wasn't until after the sun had rose over the Seattle horizon, that Teddy had cried herself to sleep next to Arizona in couch. The only one who didn't get any sleep that night, was Arizona, who had stayed up all night looking to be there for her dear grieving friend.


End file.
